This is our truth, tell us yours
Carter wrote one of those pieces that make me wonder why everyone isn’t sharing and commenting on it, so honest and perceptive was it. Masculinity/ homophobia and biphobia are shadows any man who steps out side the norm of an emotionally retarded sexually dull action man clone must face.
The piece also made me have a “never play the dane” moment. Women have a whole host of our own things we are proscribed from doing by a society that wants to produce obedient barbies to mate with those rugged action men. I am in the unfortunate position of being on the receiving end of almost every one of those proscriptions. It makes any future desires or dreams hard to achieve unless I am willing to be exposed to the glare of public hatred.
Frankly the fact I would love to have a threesome where I was also collared is no ones business except those whose cocks I would like to suck and be fucked by. The fact i would love to be tied to a bed, and have a succession of men use all of my holes while my Dominant of choice watched, why should anyone care so long as they didn’t take up anyone’s parking space? (some things are beyond the pale ).
There is a visceral level of hatred that women receive if they dare to step outside the narrow confines of behaviour that does not seem to have extended to men, after all if I had my fantasy threesome the men involved would be proving their virility even as I were a dirty slut no better than she should be.
Here’s what would stop me, common decency. I believe that every adult has the right to privacy, and when two consenting adults meet for sex behind closed doors, whether or not money changes hands, it is none of anyone else’s business.
I also wrote something I didnt completlty hate for a change for the Everyday Whorephobia blog looking at the outing and the reaction t women who dare not to conform by wearing the niqab.
As women we are shamed and abused if we cover up or strip off, and it is so often women who lead the charge. Kevin Wilson live tweets sex work studies, and this week did one that looked at the demographics of those supporting End Demand in Norway and Sweden. The main supporters were educated left wing women. They very group of women who might be able to understand why patriarchy used whorephobia and slut shaming to keep the breeding stock docile; the very women who abused three heroes of sex work activism to their faces yesterday.
Me: “Because of my health, and the debts that I have, I can’t currently do anything else than sex work.” 3 other women: “We think you can.”
Or being told sucking cock cannot, for unfathomable reasons be a job, or a host of other strange beliefs based on squicks about sex and it being for pleasure not procreation.
Which is what this is all about at it’s core, a belief that sex for pleasure is wrong. Whether that be paid, or with a group of ten men feminism only likes women who lie back and think of England…an England where no one wears the niqab or is paid for anything other than stacking shelves in tescoes.
If you are on twitter I really suggest looking at Eithne crow’s Pastachip’s and Fornicatrix’s timelines to see the abuse they got from those upholders of the patriarchy called feminists yesterday.