This is our truth, tell us yours
Jem write brilliantly yesterday about the power of the selfie.
It’s my turn to write about it from a different perspective, from the position of a man who lusts from behind the safety of a screen.
The screen insulates me from the humanity of the people I lust over, whether they’re performers or amateurs, or just people who cross my path. Let me explain what I mean.
I met Jem via the net. She was putting on a cam show, and we talked. The rest is, as they say, history. Because she was putting on a show I knew that she was happy to discuss sex, even if, as ever, we had to negotiate each other’s limits and tastes. It was, of course, an explicitly sexual conversation from the start, even if, as ever, neither of us knew for sure if the other genuinely desired us. We were able to bridge that awkward gap because we were insulated from embarrassment by the glass of the screen.
The insulating power of glass can have a negative effect though. We think things about people we see online, or through our TVs that we would never say in person. I might look at a selfie posted by a Twitter friend, and think ‘I’d fuck them.’ We might even say it to friends via the web, that they are desirable, fuckable, sexy….
Would we say that without the insulating power of glass? Would we accept it if others did the same to us?
The thought struck me because I was watching TV, and an actress appeared who even though she is half my age struck me as having that spark of desirability. I know it’s artifice, that the character she was playing was what I was seeing, not the person but I couldn’t stop myself thinking ‘If she ever fancies a man twice her age and weight I’d like to be the one she chose.’
In the process of course I was making all manner of assumptions, and creating a mini play in my head in which she was not her, but a character I was scripting to make real my desire for her, all of which I would not dream of doing in real life, and all of it only possible because of the insulating power of glass.