This is our truth, tell us yours
A new myth is being perpetuated by the voices of white* feminism, that just as no woman worked till middle class women did, no woman fucked for fun until Killing Kittens came along. When I first saw this drivel being spouted online my thoughts went to a friend I met on a swinging site. A victim of DV she had fled her home in the middle of the night and ended up living in the stock room above the pub on her estate. This isn’t how I got to know her of course, she was a room star, camming from her sofa bed she would tease, entice, and tell men to fuck off in equal measure, When she was ready she would put on a show, often interrupted by the landlady coming to get mixers or cheese and onion crisps. I used to think, wow I hope I am half as sexy when I am fifty!
Camming, swinging and sex were bright spots in her life, free pleasures that took her away from the fact her husband was drinking downstairs and she would, probably go back to him (She didn’t actually, the friends she made online and by her own admission the confidence she gained meant after years of the same cycle she finally, told him to fuck off too). Like the single mums who go to swinging clubs because its bring your own booze and free to get in for single women sex was one of the few pleasures she could afford.
As carter is fond of saying anecdote is not evidence. The fact the biggest swinging site in the country is free is not proof people with little money choose it, after all we do keep hearing about the squeezed middle, I suppose I could offer to take you all swinging so you could experience for yourself how solidly working class it is in the cities of the north but even Chams couldn’t hold all of us. You don’t need to look at a niche activity like swinging tho. The Bigg Market on a Saturday night, or Blackpool, or any working class nightspot has working class women drinking and fucking. It’s that bright spot again, a free activity that says I am alive, and is of course a huge fuck you to those in authority. The Viz characters The Fat Slags may have been fatshaming among other things, but they were real. San and Tray are out in our town centers and whilst they would probably glass you if you suggested that their behaviour was radical, it is in a society that has always policed female expressions of sexuality.
Working class women have always fucked, from the wives of sailors who were part time sex workers pissing after sex to avoid pregnancy, to the girls in the blackout who used it for outdoor sex. There is a reason Tony Warren knew the casting of Elsie Tanner was so vital. (What, you thought she just traded stockings for sex?) Every street had an Elsie, and whilst she might get the odd word from the Methodist warden she was as vital a part of the community as the pub or the gran who did childminding before the term was invented.
Working class history and especially women’s working class history is erased and rewritten to please our Masters, don’t let feminists distaste for sex write fucking out of it too.