This is our truth, tell us yours
This post discusses quite an extreme form of breath play. It is not a how to guide!
A word used in both bdsm and swinging is play, as in “have you played with X?” I think it is a lovely way to describe what Carter calls making smiles. Sex should after all be fun, and playful. Even if it involves pain and sobbing the fundamental aim is hopefully for all participants to have fun.
Recently the sex God (well, he calls me divine) known as Carter, had my legs tied to the bedposts, spread as far as they could go so he was free to use cane, hands and pinwheel on sensitive and exposed parts. He was most certainly having fun. However, whilst playing with a tied and vulnerable sub who is coming from the pinwheel on her clit is probably on most Dominants top ten lists, it wasn’t the best angle for other things. Which is how I ended up untied from the bed, and the ropes found a new use. Entwining us, wrapping us, snaking between us and even being used for an impromptu sex see saw when He pulled me towards him. Which is the moment I remembered when I saw the prompt balance, joyful, playful, rocking backwards and forwards, laughter filling my soul.
Ropes have two ends of course, and one was still tied firmly to my to each of my ankles. When the rope was looped around my neck play became serious and I discovered a whole new game. If I pulled my leg the rope tightened.Tightened around my neck with the excitement, fear, trembling and orgasms only those who have tried this can fully understand. Breath play is not new to us, but this form of it, where I had to trust him to control my desire to lose control, was. There had to be a balance between my dark desires and his desire to push me. There had to be an awareness that my legs naturally tense when I orgasm, observation and self control from Him to allow me to lose myself completely, achieving that vital balance.When you like what is called by some edge play balance is vital, I wanted to pull the rope to see what happened next, I could only do so because he had the other end. Or as he put it afterwards when we made another form of smiles at each other, I can leap knowing he will be there to catch me.
This thing that we do is a balance of playful and dark, or absolute submission and trust and a willingness to accept the responsibility that brings. It seems to me that things go wrong in BDSM relationships when that balance of trust and responsibility is lost sight of. People harm, and are harmed, when they forget the trust must be balanced by the responsibility