Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

The Hunger

 

A post for

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked
In a distant galaxy, far, far away I once mused on whether BDSM was meant to hurt. I was fascinated by it, and had determined to explore it, however one thing stopped me, surely pain could not be pleasurable? It was a conundrum that only experience could solve. I knew what it was to be restrained, held, in “normal” sex. (whatever that is) I knew the thrill of a hand around my neck as I climaxed, but pain, well that hurts!ย My lack of experience was a topic of conversation between my fellow traveller and myself. As he pointed out it was all very well to beg to meet but what happened if the first time he raised the belt I ran away?

Of course, dear reader, you know I did not run. I discovered a side of myself that had lain dormant and unexplored. In discovering I was a masochist I also discovered the hunger. It is hard to explain the desire to be hurt, to be beaten by your Dominant. We don’t do punishment, or even funishment, that terrible word when grown ups play lets pretend. If I am beaten it is a choice for both of us, a willing yes from me to a command from Him.

It still hurts though, and in that pain I discover the power to override those usual fight or flight responses. The hunger for the pain keeps me still, or as still as I can be. Recently I was bent over for the cane, His hand resting lightly on my back, the cane and crop making contact. Each stroke seared across my flesh, part of me wanted to scream, but more of me wanted the pain, and ย those strange rare orgasms that come only from pain. I could feel tears welling up, and used every ounce of control to stem them. ย I did this because I had been told beforehand of His intention, to beat me until I cried. The hunger did not want the beating to stop.

An amusing side note here, He knew exactly what I was doing, I thought I was being so smart, but I was as transparent as a newbie sub let loose in her first dungeon.

I read once of collectors of rare orchids, who travel to the farthest corners of the earth to collect specimens. These plants then have to be treated with such care and delicacy if they are to grow once transplanted. Yet they spend millions on their obsession, hungry to possess the rarest flower. I think they might understand masochism, and the hunger for pain.

 

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11 comments on “The Hunger

  1. Marie Rebelle
    April 15, 2014

    I love the comparison of orchids and pain!

    I never ask to be hurt but sometimes I think I should. I sometimes just need the pain to get me back in a good frame of mind.

    Rebel xox

    Like

    • Molly
      April 16, 2014

      I get this too… I rarely ask but I also think that maybe I should just say it more.

      Mollyxxx

      Like

    • jemima2013
      April 20, 2014

      hmmm not sure how well asking would go down, Carter would find his own way to respond to that kind of brattineess! But i do so understand the need for pain at times

      Like

  2. Charlie J Forrest
    April 15, 2014

    If ever there was a description of masochism that made me smile with agreement it’s this one ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • jemima2013
      April 20, 2014

      and your comment has made me smile, thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  3. submissiveceline
    April 15, 2014

    Jemima,

    Thank you so much for these beautiful beautiful words. I, too, share your longing for pain, and for that ecstasy that can only come through it.

    Celine x

    Like

    • jemima2013
      April 20, 2014

      thank you for understanding ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  4. John
    April 16, 2014

    As someone who hates gardening, I would agree that gardeners are masochists!

    But joking aside, its a lovely description! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

    • jemima2013
      April 20, 2014

      hee hee its only masochism when you try to pick nettles lol

      Like

  5. Serafina
    April 18, 2014

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts as a Masochist. I know it helped me understand better.

    Like

    • jemima2013
      April 20, 2014

      oh thank you, that means a lot

      Like

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