Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

Last Tango in Cullercoats

It is a common trope of sex writing to compare great sex to dancing, and what dance is more sensual or erotic than the Tango? What though when sex goes beyond the great, into the sublime, what then? A dance is a set of moves, rehearsed, practised, yes the performers may make it seem spontaneous but in fact even the tiniest gesture is pre planned and choregraphed.

I think this is the problem with not only a lot of sex writing but a lot of sex, people get stuck (not literally one hopes) in a certain set of moves, a set order to do things in. I see this sometimes working, first the oral, both ways, then a bit of fingering to ensure lubrication, then onto the main course. It is as if they attended this sex ed class. tick the right boxes and make sure you move smoothly from A to B, no sudden movements or surprise turns.

Making smiles can be so much more, as I was reminded this week. Sometimes you do move as dancers move, but not because you are choreographed, but because you seem to be able to read the mind of the other person. Each movement they make you respond to, to a tune only the two of you can hear. Instead of dancers perhaps sex like this is more like being composers, creating something that is unique to the two of you. Another feature of this kind of sex is you lose yourself. That may sound like something straight out of a romantic novel but something happens when you let go of performance and simply be.

Oh and the title? Like many a working class child growing up in the North East the highlight of my summer holidays was a trip to the beach. Sitting on the sand, windbreaker in place, running into the ice cold north sea while benevolent grand parents smiled from deck chairs. Then a visit to Spanish City and finally the walk to Cullercoats, fish and chips and the train home.

Days like that stretched on forever as a child, hundreds of separate moments, each one filled with simple joy. Sometimes sex is like that too, a moment stretches into a lifetime and nothing else exists. When that happens there is no past full of tears, or future full of fears, there is simply the now, the sublime and perfect now.


5 comments on “Last Tango in Cullercoats

  1. Reticent Mental Property
    July 17, 2014

    Truly true. Smiles.


  2. Reticent Mental Property
    July 17, 2014

    Reblogged this on Reticent Mental Property and commented:
    Such a beautiful truth, I could not resist. An exquisite experience, certainly grateful for knowing it more than once…


    • jemima2013
      July 17, 2014

      oh my thank you…and yes my gratitude to Carter cannot be put into words, no matter how many times i try


  3. errantsatiety
    July 17, 2014

    As a tango dancer I have to say tango is best when improvised. Choreography and tango creates show tango which is not what is danced on the social dance floor. There are always those dancers though that have to stay in their safe zone dancing the same pattern… So much more present and potent when improvised. 🙂


  4. Pingback: From Cullercoats to Whitley Bay to me… | Sometimes, it's just a cigar

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This entry was posted on July 17, 2014 by in Uncategorized.

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