Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

Fifty Shades of Life on Mars, part two

We are in the canteen of the police station. A large, sombrely suited man is eating a sandwich that looks as if it will deposit its contents on his tie at any time. A woman carrying a cup of coffee joins him.They sit in silence. She sips at her coffee like a hen pecking at seeds. He wipes an imaginary stain off his tie then looks at her.

RESNICK: I don’t know why you need me here. You’re good enough to run this.

KELLOG: I’m confused Charlie. I like my rapists to look like Hunt, or to behave like Burnside. This man, this one, he’s different, scary.

RESNICK: They’re all unique Lynn, and the damage they do is unique too. How’s your victim?

KELLOGG; Scary, too. It’s like she’s known it’s wrong all along, but could never say it till now.

RESNICK: Will she stand up in court?

KELLOGG: Too soon to tell. I must go. Hunt will be looking for stairs to throw him down.

RESNICK: Will you be home tonight?

KELLOGG: I’ll try Charlie, I’ll really try. He wants to make us wait till some hotshot lawyer flies in from Boston. I’ve left him with those two – he’ll look like one of his victims if I don’t go down there.

RESNICK: One of his victims?

KELLOGG: There’ll be more. They don’t just wake up one day and become abusers.

RESNICK: I know, we both know that….

The scene cuts to an interview room. Burnside, Hunt and Christian are sitting across a table.

BURNSIDE: You know Gene, if I ever went to university I’d study philosophy.You know why?

HUNT: Because you’re a deep fucker Frank?

BURNSIDE: Nope, I want to be able, just once in my sorry excuse for a career to be able to have some snappy answer when some scrote says ‘you can’t do this.’

HUNT: Which bit of him do you want me to snap?

BURNSIDE: Not on tape Gene. This is the modern world remember?

HUNT: I don’t know why Kellogg has put us down here with this piece of shit.

BURNSIDE: Psychology Gene. Psyfuckingchology. See, we’re scumbags to the likes of Mr Grey. He wouldn’t normally spend two minutes with the likes of us. And Kellogg knows that. And she knows we’ve now got one thing this piece of shit will never have again.

HUNT: I preferred you when the closest you ever got to being deep was seeing how far down the kharzi you could fit some scrote’s head. What the fuck have we got that Grey hasn’t, besides that loony Tyler who thinks he’s a fucking time traveller?

BURNSIDE: Freedom Gene, that’s what we’ll always have.

CHRISTIAN; I’ll be free just as soon as my lawyer gets here.

HUNT: That assumes we’ll tell your lawyer which police station you’re in – this is London – more cop shops than decent pubs, and not a decent chip shop to be found.

BURNSIDE: Free Mr Grey? You’re a rapist. You’ll never be free of that.

Kellogg enters.

CHRISTIAN: Are you in charge here? What kind of setup is this? If you’ll just let me see my wife she’ll see sense.

HUNT: You’ll be seeing stars first sunshine.

KELLOGG: We’ve left you here with our babysitters because you’ve delayed us Mr Grey. If you’d accept our lawyers you could be undergoing interview already.

GREY: This is bullshit. Now let me out of here or else.

HUNT: Now he’s talking my language.

GREY: What did you just say?

BURNSIDE: DI Hunt likes a bit of or else. Last time he had to face a scrote with a knife who told him to get out of the way or else it took them three days to get the scrote’s bollocks back to a size that meant he could get his Y fronts on.Take it from me Mr Grey, you don’t want to invite DI Hunt to an or else party.

KELLOGG: Cut it out you two. As soon as your lawyer arrives Mr Grey we’ll have you interviewed, then off t some more suitable accommodation….. Shut it DI Hunt, we know what you think is suitable accommodation.







Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on July 26, 2014 by in Fifty Shades of Life on Mars, Uncategorized.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

%d bloggers like this: