Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

End demand for mistakes

Picture the scene, three people, two women and one man sleeping on a bed after what the tabloids would describe as a “drug fueled night of passion”. They met in a club, the club, the trendiest one in the capital and seeking pills, thrills and who knows what else spent the night indulging in each other, among other things. During breakfast the man tries to convince one of the women to come work for him. He owns a chain of hostess bars in Japan and is high enough up in his organization that visas would not be a problem. (The triads are not the Yakuza, or the demon of so many anti trafficking dramas, they do have what we shall call connections tho, and can be incredibly dangerous)

So is this;

  • The latest edgy novel by a Hanif Kareshi clone?
  • A tragic story of exploitation?
  • Someone in their mid twenties having more fun than she ever believed possible?

To decide perhaps you believe you need more details? Do you need to know our heroine is going through a bad time with her partner, or that she has been put on Prozac without any warnings about the lowering of inhibitions that is a common side effect? Or would you prefer  more psychological details, about how she struggles to separate sex and intimacy and has such low self esteem any attention is welcome?

Yesterday Carter wrote beautifully of when loneliness and  intoxication  turn the line into a dimly remembered dream of how you hope you are. As I read I considered the other person in his blog, the man who was bloodied, beaten and left it seems with a smile on his face.  Carter wrote with honesty about his own choices, and how it was luck more than anything that led to the antihero not walking a darker path. The submissive in this situation clearly wanted that darkness though, and this is where i begin to wonder how much people really believe in agency and autonomy.

For example recently a feminist told me it was “victim blaming” to criticise poor women who supported the BNP, poverty meaning they were not responsible for their choices. Now this is obviously a dangerous minefield however when Carter wrote of the nihilism he encountered I thought about how that too is a choice. Sometimes we do want to go places that others may deem to be unacceptable, or dangerous. Historically we have used ideas like criminalizing certain activities, be it suicide, sex work or BDSM because we believed in “for their own good”, creating the idea that if someone ends up in a situation we deem negative they must be a victim. Sometimes we are, sometimes though we are just making choices, and unless you know everything in someones past and present you can never know.



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This entry was posted on October 24, 2014 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , .

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