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Jem’s handy guide to consent.

The comments of Graham Taylor,repeated on Radio Four this morning, and Julia Double barreled fuckwit on Question Time last night showed a lot of people seem to struggle with the concept of consent. (To be fair the Question time comments also showed she struggled with the concept of being drunk, I imagine there are a lot of concepts she struggles with.) As I am a kind and caring soul I decided to produce a handy guide to consent for any men who may plan to have sex at any point in their lives. I suggest you print this off and keep it handy, you never know when you might have “an unfortunate incident”.

  1. Just because we have had sex in the past does not mean I have consented to have sex with you now. The past includes; one year ago, one week ago and one minute ago. Timey Wimey stuff may be complicated but anything that’s before now, this instant is the past. Try to remember that.
  2. Just because I consented to one sex act does not mean I consented to any others, and no, no one has ever accidently mistaken a vagina for an anus.
  3. Just because I am having penetrative sex with one member of a threesome does not mean I have consented to it with the other party, consent is not transferable like members of a tag team in pro wrestling.
  4. Just because I have just had sex with 7 men does not mean you can try to be number eight, yes I will notice, yes its still rape if I don’t consent.
  5. Just because I consented to a sex act once doesn’t mean you get a lifetime free pass, this is sex, not Alton Towers. Handy if you remember the difference.
  6. Just because I consented to sex with a condom does not mean I consented to sex without one, a certain founder of wikki leaks struggles with this one.
  7. Just because I consented to sex after 2 drinks does not mean I consented to sex after 8 or 9, see point one and look up past and present in the dictionary.
  8. Just because I consented to sex with your mate does not mean I consented to sex with you while other mates film us on their camera phone. (Taylor might need to get this one tattooed somewhere prominent)
  9. Just because you have heard in the pub I have consented to sex on lots on occasions before doesn’t mean I have consented to sex with you now. (Again see point 1, past and present, really useful concepts here)
  10. Just because you don’t think its rape, doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape, look through points 1-9 if you think that any of them means you don’t have to ask if I consent, you may be a rapist.
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This entry was posted on January 9, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , .

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