Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

looking back to look forward

Every so often I republish pieces from my personal journal, this is BDSM jim, but not as we know it. 

Recently  the Domly one commented that many wouldn’t have put money on us being together after 2 months, never mind two years. Add up those who thought we were doing it wrong, my inexperience and a host of what I shall politely call “circumstances” they saw two people who would soon be looking again.

But here we are, He makes me happier and hornier with each week that passes and i am a better,more self-aware, mature person than I was when I met him. Dont worry this post isn’t going to get too sloppy but it did make me wonder why did it work? Why does it work, how did I get to be so lucky?

Firstly I think the genuineness of my “Oh Yes ” when we first met mattered. He knew I was inexperienced, my reaction the very first time was important. But wanting to was not enough, my mind goes back to those “circumstances” I mentioned. Subs can desire submission so much it can, I think mean they stop using their knowledge of how they would normally behave, wanting to submit to someone and enjoying it is not enough, it’s also how we integrate that into our personality and every day life. Even now at times the neediness can overpower the common sense, bratty emails are sent and feet stamped. However each time it happens I try to learn, to see what caused it and how I can react better next time.

Which comes to the heart I believe of why this thing that we do works. Carter once said to me that each sub is unique, and He learns from each of them. At the time I was concerned that someone as inexperienced as me was going to bore him quickly, now I understand better why His desire to learn matters so much.

It would be very easy to arrive at a sub’s house, armed with toys, every moment of the next few hours planned in detail, it is what many Doms do. They see their success as a Dominant in how well they execute their carefully planned time. However that, as every teacher knows, does not always lead to the greatest learning opportunity. A good teacher will have short and long-term goals and a variety of tools in their armoury to achieve them. In my opinion a good Dom is the same.

We are still together partially because I was fortunate enough to meet someone who was as willing to learn as subs are meant to be, who treats each time with me as a new experience, but one based on their knowledge, desires and desire to get  me to a certain place. A place that two years ago I did not even know existed.

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This entry was posted on April 18, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , .

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