This is our truth, tell us yours
content note for rape.
The client seems ideal, older, polite and respectful in all his emails, he arrives right on time, clearly having just showered and his designer t shirt and jeans pristine.
Because no one ever looks like a rapist.
Like most men he enjoys your oral skills, and with a smile guides you to the bed, suggesting you lie on your back like a good girl.
And you do because no one ever looks like a rapist,
You hope it might be oral, oral rarely makes you come and you are tired and thinking about what to have for lunch. Maybe your bad nights sleep means you arent as alert as you should be.
Or maybe its because no one ever looks like a rapist.
So quickly that you dont have time to do any of the usual moves, the ones every whore knows he is on top of you and inside you without a condom.
You shouldnt be surprised, you should know no one ever looks like a rapist.
“Say please” he requests/orders and you do, anything so he does not get violent and hurt you. He calls you a good girl and tells you how much you want him
All you can think about is finding a way to stop him coming inside you, to minimize any risk, So you put all your charms into getting him to come on your face and he does.
He tells you how incredible that was, and leaves smiling, to catch the tube, anonymous, where no one will know, becasue no one ever looks like a rapist.
And you fix your make up, and open the door to the next client, smiling at him because no one ever looks like a rapist.
If you did not have to work alone, you could have called for help, but you cant, 2 or more sex workers is a brothel, and thats the worst thing imaginable possibly. Worse than having to call the GUM clinic to make an appointment, worse than being raped.
If you did not have to worry about being thrown out of your hotel you could have possibly screamed for help, but you know whorephobia means you would be left without anywhere to stay while he walked away. After all its your word against his and no one ever looks like a rapist.
If it wouldnt risk your home and your children you could call the police, but stigma means you exist by not looking like a sex worker.
So all you can do is write, and hope you can fix on the smile before the next client arrives, and remind yourself no one ever looks like a rapist.