Sometimes, it's just a cigar

This is our truth, tell us yours

Cookies and blowjobs

One of the things that has become apparent as the mainstream media engage with the James Deen story is how uncritical we all were of James Deen. As Eva Wiseman points out here, there are parallels between Deen and Hugo Schwyzer, although her analysis seems a little light on the parallels. Just as porn depends on male performers stamina and ability to fake, so did Hugo’s career.

At heart though, we have to talk about ourselves. How have we created a system in which the people most likely toprosper are self serving narcissists, whether it’s in cultural work like acting in porn films, writing and talking about culture, or politics? I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve recommended Leo Abse’s work on politicians and fellatio; we seem doomed to keep making platforms from which narcissists seek to receive blowjobs.

My own engagement with these debates intrigues me. I sometimes wonder if I use anonymity to protect myself from the seductive qualities of performing in these debates. Bluntly, do I fear that if I was a public figure, I might be presented with opportunities to use celebrity in a way that would be incongruent with the principles I try to live by? How would I cope if I were the celebrity BDSM speaker, publicizing a moral way of being a BDSM person, and I received sexual offers that a wiser person would refuse?

I know, in the past, I have been careless in such situations, that I’ve forgotten the warning in the Jackson Browne line from Late for the Sky ‘I don’t know what I loved in you, I don’t know what you loved in me. Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be.’ Too often, I’ve let others be attracted to me for what they think I am, which is about what they need, not what I am.

James Deen sold the idea that he was the person we hoped he might be. The issue, the test, for fans of James Deen and Tony Blair alike, is whether they were sincere in their efforts to be that good person, or whether they were always just in it for the cookies and the blowjobs.

After the mask has slipped, after the wizard is revealed as the little man from the carnival sideshow trying to hustle a buck, the motivation is apparently irrelevant, but I’m still intrigued. Did power corrupt, or does power only attract the corrupt? Humility tells me the former, but that that doesn’t prevent those who are corrupt from seeking power or status.

Suspecting that power corrupts is one of the reasons why I shy away from it. Celebrity is a kind of power, and I suspect James Deen has been changed, and chewed up by it. I’m not sure I’m good enough to avoid the same mistakes, even if I had something to sell.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on December 13, 2015 by in Uncategorized.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

%d bloggers like this: